I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
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Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
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Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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