What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
