Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
