Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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