Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
