I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
