im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
