She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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