I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
