i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
That's when you crack a 10am beer
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
