I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
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