I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
