that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
