we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
