I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
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