I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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