So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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