I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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