So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Randomize
