i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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