Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
She's like a pop up book from hell.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
