just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
