She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
