This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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