Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
