I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
