I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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