i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
smell my finger.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
