i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
