I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
