just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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