"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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