You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
