after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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