it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize