just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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