Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I am in a vortex of obligation.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
