Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
