i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I need a beard to bite.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize