at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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