i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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