Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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