If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Randomize
