I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Is Oprah even human
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
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