Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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