you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
