normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I have fence marks all over my body
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
