how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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