it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize