wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
