i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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