Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
