I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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