so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
