pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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