her vagine was all disorganized.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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