how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
