Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
