Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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