That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
