OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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