what if every blade of grass was a penis?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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