He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
