Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
