I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
